[musings] 7/7/16

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so yeah

I think I’ve reached either the zenith, or close to the zenith of my sufferings for this summer trip.

basically, feels like hell.

I have over 100 bed bug bites on my body; thanks to this cheap hostel and their not too clean beds. I already had 6 mosquito bites on my legs. I have a deep cut on each ankle from the leather straps of my sandals. I have a stomachache from a much too spicy curry I ate yesterday. it’s fracking hot, but I have to cover up because my skin looks disgusting.

the itching is unbearable. I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed and declared Jesus’ name and protection and healing several times, but it’s not His timing yet I suppose.

I put on so many creams and they barely provide any relief. it hurts to sit on the toilet (I have many bites on my butt for some reason), any contact of clothes or hair or wind against my bites stimulates an itch; but I have to cover them so I can’t prevent that. It’s so hot and humid but I have to cover up. there’s bites on my face and neck that I have to cake with foundation; some of them look like I had a date last night.

so yeah

basically, feels like hell.

it reminds me of my teammate Isaac, who in Uganda had also over a 100 bug bites all over his body, and he was constantly putting on cortisone.

this here folks, is spiritual warfare.

I am in one of the richest cities in the world, but I feel like I am in the middle of 3rd world parts of Africa.

how can that be?

it’s cause Satan wants to kill, steal, and destroy all that I am.

but I won’t let him win.

yeah I can’t sleep at night.

yeah I can’t escape the unbearable itching.

yeah I can’t be cool in this exotic weather.

yeah my body looks ravaged.

yeah it pains me to do simple actions.

yeah I have to put on creams every hour.

yeah I am uncomfortable 24/7.

yeah I already was suffering with loneliness, fear of missing out, loss of purpose, boredom, hopelessness, apathy, longings.

but victory belongs to the LORD. I HATE my circumstances right now, but I HATE Satan all the more.

I know that God has direction and plans for my life.

I know that there is a mystery anointing waiting for me on the other side.

I just have to walk through this narrow path.

this thorn in my flesh won’t go away, but I will trudge on.

I will eagerly await His rewards and peace.

God, give me STRENGTH IN THIS SEASON!!!

I really need perseverance.

My body has never been this disfigured and itchy before (I’ve been in worse pains though).

THIS ONLY HAPPENS WHEN I AM ON MISSIONS.

it’s obvious now. I can tell your schemes, stupid devil.

In Jesus’ righteous name, I rebuke all evil surrounding me and hurting me.

I pray for protection, holiness, and righteousness to surround me.

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