Sass or Love? Real Friendship


Edit: this may sound like a rant. I apologize if it does, but I hope to impart some wisdom unto whoever reads this.

I don’t really get this sass culture. Is it just me?

More and more these days I’ve been hearing from others and even from the voice inside my head that I’m really nice. But not just nice. TOO nice. To the point that I’m easy, and easy to manipulate and refuse/ignore/reject.

And I thought to myself, “What’s wrong with being nice? I’m just trying to love?”

Then I realized, there’s no problem at all with being nice and loving.

It’s this culture that’s whack!!!


As I reflect upon my friendships and as I observe those around me,  I’ve realized that our culture has adopted a sort of sass that’s become extremely popular; sass has become the most popular personality trait and it’s quickly replacing old socially popular norms like attractiveness, charisma, and overall coolness.

Now, you don’t have to be hot to be popular or liked. You just got to have sass.

Being sassy IS pretty funny I admit. It’s fun to see people have attitude, an upbeat spirit, and a humor code.

But is being sassy the coolest trait to have? I don’t think so.

What completely boggles my mind these days is how I’ve observed many friendships around me, and how the level of intimacy correlates/depends on just how much sass/attitude you can give somebody. Your closest friend is the person you can diss to the furthest extent without that person being visibly offended, or you looking bad.

I see friends that I’ve known for a while, get way closer to someone that they’ve just met, just because that person can respond to their sass, with their own sass!

Now why is this a problem you may be thinking?

Because you don’t necessarily want more negativity in your life.

Trust me, without the extra sass your friends give you, you already receive a lot of sass in your life.

I already receive enough sass from my cat who never wants to stay in my arms. I already receive enough sass from the gas pump that pumps in 7.999 gallons instead of 8. I already receive enough sass from my mom when I forget to call her back after I miss her call. I already receive enough sass from my facebook newsfeed and the neverending hatred on our new president. Half of these are meant to be funny but you get my point. Reality is pretty sassy already.

Trust me, being nice and loving is not a cliche. I know it SEEMS uncool. But it’s actually the coolest personality trait you can have. ESPECIALLY when it’s motivated by genuine love which comes from God. (“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19)

Because you know what? Jesus never gave sass. He either lovingly encouraged or rebuked. He didn’t really mess around with a person’s feelings. Because He truly acted out of love and He truly understood the power of words.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

Believe it or not, the sass you give your closest friends DO affect them, even if it may not be visible. You know the popular saying that jokes have a tint of truth in them, because they really do. When you tell your best friend she looks particularly fugly today or your sister that she looks chubbier, etc. even if you don’t really mean these things, they DO hurt.

Sass may be fun, but it’s not really what God’s looking for.

God wants us to build each other up. He wants us to love on each other. Yeah, being serious and telling someone that their idea is great, and that their hard work is always appreciated seems cliche and boring. But it’s actually the best thing to do. Because you’re speaking truth and life into that person. You’re not bringing them down, just to make them laugh for like three seconds. When you encourage somebody, you give them motivation to live, and live abundantly.

Psalms 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight.”

Let’s say things that God will be pleased with. 🙂 Trust me, you will value your friendship so much more when you start speaking life into your friends. And they will appreciate you more as well. But best of all, God will appreciate you more, for loving on your neighbor.


One thought on “Sass or Love? Real Friendship

  1. I always tell my Sunday school Jr high school boys, just be you. You don’t have to follow the pattern of this world. If going against the culture is cool… then your alright, because your just being you. Never assimilate into what the world want you to be but what God is speaking to you to be. Have a blessed day


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